God’s Waiting Room
A place of preparation…
It was December 1991 that we immigrated to the USA from South Africa…. next to me on the plane sat Brenda (Foster) and Nathaniel, with Lauren on my lap. Lauren was only 20 months old and, having been in the plane for 18 hours, was inconsolable. In the belly of the plane were six suitcases, in my pocket $2000, and in my head a promise from my Dad. It was from Genesis 12:1- 3. That was the sum of all our earthly possessions… With a screaming baby on my lap from New York to Kansas City, I remember sitting there wondering. Have you ever done that?
After three years in South Africa, we were heading back to America with a strong calling in our hearts, but no prospects for employment. Here we were, both Brenda and I pastor’s kids, having grown up hearing about David, how God used him for who he was — a guy with a slingshot and five stones and a clear message that wearing Saul’s armor was not going to do it in his fight against Goliath… he had to be himself. We grew up with parents assuring us that God is always with us, hearing how Moses spoke to God in a bush and how Joshua had his arms lifted to the sky while the earth stood still. We were both raised not just with words but also with strong examples by our parents of what it’s like to trust the Lord in things big and small.
And yet, there we were, at crossroads with an uncertain future. Our trust in God had to be our own. I remember wondering … it was like that Christmas song: “I wonder as I wander… out under the sky.” Do you remember how you felt when you’ve wondered? Where is this all going? Is there a bigger story?
Now 26 years later, I was watching a cartoon with Sylvia; this time it was Lauren’s two- year-old on my lap, and memories came flooding back from the uncertain times we faced when we arrived in the US. What I sense that is different than 26 years earlier is a more mature awareness of God’s faithfulness, even while feeling the tension of doubts and worry tugging at my heart. Like everyone, we would love to have control over our future and know what is next. But, as it is, I am finding myself in God’s waiting room.
God’s waiting room … this “land-in-between” is like the flood story of Noah in the ark without a steering mechanism, or finding yourself in the hospital waiting room, waiting for the doctor’s verdict. We’ve all been there and it is not always easy. I have to confess, so much of my human nature is naturally prone to seek for certainty, comfort and a sense of predictability. We like to be in control, and in many ways, we tend to construct a world with words, stories, and images that serve as echo chambers of our projections. With these, we create what I would call a “bubble of certainty.” Everyone means well when they say… “God is in control” and “God has a plan for your life.” The question is: “What kind of God do I believe in and how is that going to serve as a vehicle of encouragement during times of uncertainty?” Where do we find a reality for our lives that reveals true certainty?
Tongue-in-cheek, after Moses’ burning bush experience, I wonder if he lingered a little longer at every bush he encountered, wondering… Is God there? Where is He? Does He know where I am?
God’s waiting room is always a place of preparation
Having said this, I am learning that when you find yourself in God’s waiting room, and you recognize that’s where you are, it is a good place to be. God’s waiting room is always a place of preparation. It is a place to evaluate your outlook, your motives, your passions, and desires. To assess what filters guide you as you ponder what is on the other side of the door.
Stay tuned as Thursday, Oct 18th; we tackle the bubble of certainty in our next pub theology gathering. In addition to my previous musings, maybe these questions can guide our conversation: What kind of God do we believe in – a God who has tomorrow fixed, or a God who, instead, chooses to create the future as he enables us to walk together in a relationship of love and mutual giving?
Q. Have you found yourself wandering in the land-in-between? Has there been a time or times in your life when you found yourself sitting in God’s waiting room? Drop us a note and let us know. We would love to hear your story.